Super (flaky) Mom

This morning, at 8:01, I was awakened by the telephone ringing. I had been up VERY late last night, trying to meet a deadline for work, and to say that I was annoyed would be putting it lightly.
I looked at the caller ID, and didn't recognize the number, so I just assumed that whoever was calling would call back if it was important.
Then I heard them leave a message.

"Hi Jill, this is Jamie Jensen from the Cub Scouts, we are all ready to go to Day camp and we're just checking on Aaron, we can only wait a few more minutes before we need to leave. Hope to see you soon! Bye!"

Wow. Chugging a big gulp full of Dr. Pepper couldn't have caused me to wake up any faster than that phone call.

My first thought was "How on earth could that be today? I know for sure that it was on the calendar for Thursday and Friday."
So I went and looked at the wall calendar in the kitchen, and sure enough, written on Monday and Tuesday was "Cub Country"

Shoot.

I quickly called her back.

"Hi Jamie, we're on our way, I'll have him there in a few minutes. Ummm, he needs a lunch today, right?"

I went and dragged a groggy Aaron out of bed, hoping that he would at least have some clue as to where his scout shirt was. He found the shirt (whew) and it was clean (or at least I couldn't smell it) I made him a super fast peanut butter and jelly sandwich, stuffed a can of pop and some chips into his lunch box (which I was amazed that we actually found) gave him a piece of toast and rushed him over to the church where everybody was waiting.

And then I made him hug me in front of his friends. (It's kind of my payback for all the grocery store tantrums he threw for me)

As I drove away I looked at my watch. 8:12.

In 11 minutes I managed to get up, confirm that day camp was indeed today, get Aaron out of bed, dressed and fed (I even managed to sneak a little gel in his hair. If I hadn't, everyone would have seen his bed hair and known that we just woke up) found the sunscreen, made him a lunch and drove him to the church.
If my alarm had gone off at 8:02 and I had hit the snooze button, I would have been back home in time to turn it off.

Seriously, I think I deserve some sort of award* or medal or something.

Or at least chocolate.



*If you totally ignore the fact that I wasn't aware that the camp was indeed today.

When I got back home, I looked at the calendar in my electronic organizer and the camp
WAS listed for Thursday and Friday, NOT today and tomorrow.

I realize now that I forgot to check to see if Aaron was wearing clean socks. Heck, I'm not even sure that he was wearing socks.



PS. I had a really great weekend because I got to go to TWO blogger lunches on Saturday!
These were hosted by Crash from Crash Test Dummy diaries and Erin from If you give a mom a moment.

If you want hear more about the lunches, please click on the links because, obviously, I'm too scatterbrained to write anything about them. (However, I had a great time at both!)

It's THREE! THREE! THREE posts in one!

#1. Quote of the week by Max............

"Hey Mom! Come and see what I made in my room! Hurry! Hurry!
Come and see it, it's NOT DANGEROUS!"


#2. Wordless Wednesday.


Before you ask anything about this photo, my answer is I DON'T KNOW!!
Seriously, this is why I posted the photo for wordless Wednesday, I can't find any words to explain it.

#3. Due to the overwhelming requests that I bring it back,* here it is, back by popular demand!**

WORD VERIFICATION WEDNESDAY!

For those of you that are new here, (or those of you with memory issues) here's how to play.
#1. Go to the comment box.
#2. Look at that annoying word verification code.
#3. Make up a definition for the WV word and leave it in a comment.

It's just that easy!
Please remember to keep it clean as my children do read my blog.

Keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times and HAVE FUN!!!

* Nobody actually requested that I bring back WVW, I'm sure everyone wanted to, they just got busy.
**Nobody popular demanded that I bring back WVW either.

Just how bored are they?

Apparently, my kids were very bored yesterday.

"How bored were they?" you ask.

Two words................ Snail races.

The cute little voice you hear in the video belongs to Max.





On a related note, does anyone know of a good way to get rid of snails?

Aftermath of the afternoon nap

Today just before we arrived at home from our last activity for the day, Max fell asleep in the car.
It was after 6:00, and I should have known better, but I carried him in to his bed and let him continue to sleep.
I can hear you shouting at me "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? A NAP AT 6:00 IN THE EVENING? ARE YOU CRAZY???"
To which I answer, Yes.

On the other hand, I was able to fix dinner without any of Max's "help" which was quite refreshing.
I spent about an hour trying to figure out what to make for dinner before I threw something together the next while creating a delicious, well thought out meal for my family.
We sat down to eat around 8:00. Max woke up and came to the table, just a bit grumpy and refused to eat anything, but drank several glasses of milk. After a while Max said "I think I drinkeded too much milk"
"Why do you think that?" I asked.
"Because when I shake I can't hear the milk in my tummy so I must be clear fulled!"
Then he wiggled around in his chair to demonstrate that the milk could not be heard sloshing around in his tummy. "See? the milk is not makin' noise!"
After dinner was over and the table was cleared Max got the box of UNO cards and dumped them on the table. With both hands, he stirred the cards around for a while until CJ asked him what he was doing.

"Im shuffoling!"

He then insisted that CJ play a game of UNO with him.
Apparently, the game had gone on for quite a while because when I walked back into the room CJ said "MOM, I'm trying to let him win and it's not working!"
It seems that Max really enjoys collecting the cards instead of getting rid of them, and getting rid of them is pretty much the object of the game.
When he didn't have a card he could play, he tried to convince us that he should just be allowed to play any card he wanted even though it didn't match the top card on the pile.
Max: "Why I can't put this card down?"
CJ: "Because you need either a yellow card or a 5."
Max: "But I want to put this card down on the pile!"
CJ: "No, I can see another card you could use. See that red 5 card that you have? You can put that on the pile."
Max: "I not want to put that one on! I want to put THIS one on!" (as he waved a green 7 above his head)
CJ: "No Max. You need to put down a card that either has the same color or the same number on it, that card doesn't match either way. Use the red 5!"
Max: " I not want to put that card in the pile ! I want to put this card in the pile!"
He put the green 7 on the pile.
CJ took it off the pile.
Max drew another card. He now had about 13 cards. He then decided that he wanted to hold them in his hand, fanned out, like CJ was holding his cards, but he couldn't figure out how to get them that way and wouldn't let anyone help him. Every time he dropped a card, Max freaked out just a little bit more.

CJ finally ended up winning the game then Max went and got the Perfection game.
He had me explain to him how to play (set the timer, put the shapes in the correct places on the board, if you run out of time, the board pops and the pieces go flying) I helped him the first time, and when the timer went off, Max was startled and may have freaked out a bit.
He played the game two more times before he decided that it was more fun to dump the pieces on the board, set the timer and wait for it to pop.

Then, being the mean mom that I am, I told him that it was time to get his pajamas on.

He didn't want to get his pajamas on because "I not being sleepy!"

Then the races began.

Max stood against the refrigerator.
"Ready! Set! GO!!!"
Then he ran the length of the kitchen, through the family room then down to the end of the hallway. Next, he yelled "Ready! Set! GO!!!"and ran from the end of the hallway into the kitchen. He ran back and forth for a while, each time YELLING "Ready! Set! GO!!!"
He wasn't actually racing anyone, he was just running and yelling. From the other room I heard him say "HEY LOOK! I HAVE FAST FEET!!"

It is now after 10:00.
P.M.
I stopped him and took him into his room to get his pajamas on. He said he couldn't put on his pajamas until the ceiling fan stopped spinning. I was too tired to argue so I turned off the ceiling fan and we both sat there and watched it slow until it stopped.

Do you have any idea how long it takes for a ceiling fan to stop spinning when you turn it off?

A really, really long time.

or as Max would say "A reeollee, reeollee long time!"

The fan stopped spinning (finally!) and Max started to get his pajamas on. He took his sandals off and his feet were dirty from playing outside earlier in the day. He Yells "HEY LOOK! I HAVE STINKY FEET! LOOK AT MY STINKY FEET! THEY'RE STINKY! I NEED A BATH! I NEED A BATH!!" Then he waved one of his cute little feet in front of my face.
Dangerously close to my face

I finally got Max into his pajamas, then he ran some more solo races and drank more milk before I finally talked him into going to bed.

Tomorrow, I'm taking the nap.

e-packrat

Have you ever felt really bad because you haven't received any email for the last 36 hours.
Have you ever just assumed that nobody likes you because you haven't received any mail for the last 36 hours?
Have you become obsessive over checking your mail just knowing that SOMEBODY would send you something.
Have you ever been disappointed because there are still no new emails in your in box.
Have you ever discovered that your mailbox is completely full and not accepting any new emails?
Have you ever spent the entire evening cleaning out your inbox?
Have you ever discovered two very important work emails that you never received because your inbox was full?
Have you ever wondered what else you've missed.

I apologize to anyone who tried to email me today. Try again later............

The gloved one and other happenings

No, this is not yet another tribute to Michael Jackson.

Made you look!!

A few days ago, Max found a pair of purple stretch gloves. He started wearing them every day, all the time. He even made up a song about his gloves.
He looked pretty funny wearing warm gloves with his shorts and sandals.

Today, I noticed that Max was wearing only one glove. At first I thought that perhaps he was wearing one glove as a tribute to MJ (because he's seen more MJ on TV in the last few days than he has in his entire lifetime)
I asked him why he was only wearing one glove and he looked at me like I was a complete imbecile and said "Because I don't know where the other glub is!"

So there you have it. Max might have discovered the real reason that Michael Jackson only wore one glove, he simply couldn't find the other one.

BTW, I have a theory, I think he didn't really die, he's gone into hiding, and is living in a double wide with Elvis in a town just outside of Scottsdale Az.

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This morning, Brielle got up nice and early so I could take her to the Rec center. Before we left, she looked through the kitchen to find something to eat, and found an energy bar in the cabinet. Knowing that her dad had bought the energy bars, she asked him if he was planning on eating it. He said that he was indeed planning on eating it, took it, unwrapped it and was about to take a bite when I walked into the room.
"Hey, are there any more of those?" I asked.
"No" DH replied, "this is the last one, but you can have it if you want."
I told him I didn't want to take it from him and he said it was really OK, he would just eat cereal for breakfast, and I said no, he could have it and he said I could have it, and............

Brielle jumped in and said that she wanted it, so DH gave it to her and she went out to the car.
I grabbed a Diet Dr. Pepper healthy piece of toast then went out to the car.
As we were backing out of the driveway I noticed the energy bar sitting in the front seat with one bite taken out of it.
"Brielle, aren't you going to eat the bar?" I asked.
"No, I didn't like it, it didn't taste very good" she replied.
Knowing that sometimes she can be a very picky eater, I asked if I could have a bite, and she told me that I could eat the whole thing.

I looked at the wrapper, cinnamon bun flavored! MMMMM Seriously, how could anything flavored like a cinnamon bun taste bad?

Then I took a bite.

My taste buds were immediately assaulted with the most vile taste I've ever tasted since I was two years old and ate dirt.

It was awful!

I thought that maybe I could just finish chewing it up and swallow it, but the more I chewed the "cinnamon bun flavored" energy bar, the worse it got! The texture was something similar to sand soaked in wax, only it didn't taste as good as wax soaked sand.

I hurried and spit the wad of disgustingness into a napkin.

Unfortunately, some of the residue remained in my mouth because it was stuck in between my teeth.
From the backseat I heard Brielle say "I told you it was bad."

Unfortunately, "bad" didn't even begin to describe it.

I asked her how she had managed to eat the bite that she took, and she replied "Oh, I didn't eat it, I spit it out in the garbage can."

When we finally got to the rec center, I bought some fruit snacks from the vending machine to help us "cleanse the palette" unfortunately, later on the ride home we could still smell the bar which I had foolishly forgotten to throw away.

When we got home I brought the bar in the house and told DH that it really tasted bad.

He laughed.

And laughed.

And laughed.

"Why do you think there was one left? he said "As soon as I smelled it, I remembered how bad they tasted."
Naturally, I wasn't very happy with this, because he gave it to us (practically tried to force me to take it) knowing full well how bad this thing tasted.

Brielle said it tasted like duck poop.

(and no, I have no idea why she would have any clue as to what duck poop tastes like)

Naturally, we have absolutely no intention of letting this go. We feel it was a cruel joke to not just let us eat the "duck poop waxy sand puke bar" but even encourage us to eat it!

We will get even!

Actually, we won't get even, we will get ahead ;0)

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Here's some new artwork from Max.
At first glance, one might think that it's a picture of a deranged zombie robot turtle with two disembodied heads floating around with arms where their ears should be and blueberry jam smeared all over their faces, but no, it is yet another illustration of Max being born by c-section. The floating heads are the doctors and the blueberry jam would be their surgical masks.
The strange thing about that is that in all the photos that the kids showed him of the event, none of them showed the doctor's faces.
Is it possible that Max actually remembers the whole thing?

Hmmmm. Something to think about.

At least in this version, even though I'm still bald, my arms have moved from my head to the side of my body.

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Why is it that I am the only person in this house that can hear the phone ring? Why do I need to run across the house at top speed to answer a phone that is sitting within arms reach of one of my darling offspring?

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The males in my family seem to be unusually gassy today. Not sure why.
Actually, I'm not sure why I told you that.

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Quote for the day:

"Chairs are for butts, not backpacks"

What's that floating in the pool?

Actual conversation with Max before we took him to swimming lessons:

Max: "MOM! MOM! I need to eat something or else I will bowf in the pool!"
Me: "You're going to do what in the pool?"
Max: "Bowf! If I don't eat something I'm going to bowf in the pool!"
Me: "Bowf?"
Max: "BOWF! BOWF! BOWF!"
Me: "Oh, you mean barf."
Max: "That's what I sayded! Bowf!"
Me: "No, you said bowf."
Max: "I NOT DID SAY BOWF! I SAID BOWF! IT HAS AN R IN IT! BOWF! BOWF! BOWF!

I stand corrected.